LOVe

KNOWING

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

JADED

Last weekend, I hang out with my ex-colleagues. We went to the state where well known because of historical place.

During the trip, there's unhappy moments happened make me jaded. Sometimes, I don't understand why there's type of person who like to complain and ungrateful.

Perhaps next time, I won't go out with this kind of people...but, I know not all of them make me faded...is it true trouble is a friend?

I'M

In less an hour, December is coming. Looks like there's only a month to go before I say goodbye t0 2009 and welcome 2010. Lot of memories that I've been tru in this whole year. Good and bad, happy and sad moments, laughs and tears etc.

All the memories and experiences that I faced, makes me believed that in life we must be strong and have faith in all we're doing. And no matter what happened, always remember that life is about a journey...as wise man says, journey of thousand miles begin with the first step, without taking the first step the journey will never be made at all...

HUMANITY

There comes a time when we heed a certain call, when the world must come together as one. There are people dying and it's time to lend a hand to life, the greatest gift of all. We can't go on pretending day by day that someone, somewhere will soon make a change. We are all a part of God's great big family and the truth you know love is all we need.

We are the world, we are the children, we are the one who make a brighter day so let's start giving. There's a choice we're making, we're saving our own lives. It's true we'll make a better day. Send them your heart so they'll know that someone cares and their lives will be stronger and free.

As God has shown us by turning stone to bread and so we all must lend a helping hand....cause We are the World...

CRIMINALISE WAR! Please vote at http://www.criminalisewar.org/

GOOD

A few weeks ago, I attended Criminalise War Conference. I'm so proud with the spirit and concerns that shown by the participants. See people who is different races, religions and views attended this 2 day conference make me feel really blessed, as part of them.

All the pain and suffering of an innocent children, women and man in Iraq War make me in tears. The video clips which played during the conference causing grief. Sorrowful, when you see the face of Iraqi's children waves their hand, show peace sign and smiles. It's really touch my heart.

Thanks god that there's still lot of people, who still care for our unfortunate brothers and sisters, I really-really hope, perhaps someday all my friends will joint us to support innocent people and make war as crimes.

CRIMINALISE WAR! Make war a crime, vote at www.criminalisewar.org

FEELING

"It's really hard to hide your feelings from those you have feelings for"

ECLIPSE

DREAMS

"Dreams just aren't enough, so I´ll be waiting for the real thing..."

CONDOLENCE

A few days ago, my ex-schoolmate text me and informed that her house burnt. I was shocked and asked her what's going on. She told me that her neighbour called her and said probably because the short circuit.

She asked a favour if there's a room to let nearby my residence, in case they need to moved out. She's went back to hometown to celebrate Eid's and will be back on the next day.

Hope the damage not too serious. It make me realise that, anything could happened in our life. Sometimes, either God want to anticipate us, how strong we're.... or reciprocate of wrongdoing in our past time. One thing we should remember, "What we have today are not belong to us, the wealth, the health, the happiness etc..Lord just lend it to us."

Do you believe that everything happen for a reason?

I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and no matter what, either it’s hard time or great time, we should accept because we can’t go back and change it...

BAD

Tonight I'm really piss off. Then I open my facebook to cool down myself but unfortunately my blood temperature going up again when I read the statement of my ex-schoolmate wrote on his Wall that "F1Malaysia - another driver which comes in last or doesn't finish the race again?"

What kind of person he is, very sarcastic, arrogant, like to underestimated others. He shouldn't be stay in this country. Sometimes, I don't know why some people only see the bad and not the good in everyone.

AIL

"People Always Leave...Sometimes They Come Back???"

ZEALOT

Lately, I have quite serius discussion with my friends and my colleagues about the life, religion and H1N1 disease. It's interesting because everybody have a different point of view and different perspective.

Let's me started with influenza H1N1 first. One of my colleagues sent an email about the failure of the government to handle the outbreak of H1N1. From the article forwarded I can said that they put the blame to the government. I just wondering why people always like to blame others when problem occured? Could be, it's human nature? For me everyone should responsible for their own health. If every people take a good care of themselves, think positive and make a change, we can live in peace and harmony.

In our daily life, sometimes we always take for granted in certain issue. Some people think it's a small matter and unnecessary to talk about.

Every time after prayer, most of us will ask from God to be bless, to have more subsistence and nourishment, good fortune and to live longer. Now I understand the reason why we need to ask for it...so when we got it, we can share it with the other people who doesn't have it.

p/s it's time for us to giving instead of getting and having...

YESTERDAY

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

XPLORE

WISH

If someone asking you, What is your wish, what will you say?

Some people wish to be richer, to be pretttier, to be happier, etc. Even if we already have everything that we ask for, we still wish that everything that we have today will always remain the same.

But the most important wishes that I can think right now is to have good health and hope that this life was not so short...but We live, not as we wish to, but as we can.

VOICE

"Regard your voice as capital in the bank. Sing on your interest and your voice will last."

UNFORESEEN

Mabul Island, 2009

TANNED

Just came back from the island located in East Coast. Both my arms and my face become dark and tanned. It's a new experienced for me to spent a night in the island. What a beautiful place! Perhaps someday I can stay at the resort and doing nothing or just lay down under the coconut tree.

During my stay at the island, I saw the kids playing with talcum powder bottle. They tie the string on the top of the bottle and make it like a mobile car. Pity kids. Most of the children there spent their freetime with playing. Just wonder if there's a library or resource centre was built at this settlement, may be this kids can spent their leisure time wisely.

I have chatted with one of the youth, he said that their income very little. He willing to go abroad and find a job in the city but they don't have any friends or relatives, who can help them at least to start a first step...

SMILE

Smile
tho`
your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it`s breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky
You`ll get by,
If you
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You`ll see the sun come shining through
For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev`ry trace of sadness,
Altho` a tear may be ever so near,
That`s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile
What`s the use of crying,
You`ll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

-R.I.P, MJ

REMEMBRANCE

Five days ago, the world have lost 'King of Pop'. People still shocked and his family want to know the truth behind his mystery death.

During his childhood, he spent almost his time with practice singing and dancing. His father is very strict and serius person. He become a phenomenal in music industry and popular with his moonwalk dance.

According to his close friend, he is a childlike. I think, he just want to grow up as a normal kids, playing with the other kids but he can't get it before. Influence by Peter Pan syndrome, he build a theme park and open it to the public. He love to see kids happy and smile.

But in reality, it's impossible for him to be Puer Aeternus but his song remains in our heart...

QUESTION

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone, I've tried
and I don't know why

I am just a little girl
lost in the moment
I'm so scared
but don't show it
I can't figure it out
it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go

PISSED OFF

Lately, I have new hobby which is reading the opposition blog. I read their leader's blog and as I guess there's a lot of harsh words. Most of the followers really pissed off with the government.

The issue they talk about is corruption, power abuse, politic scandal etc. For me to solve this problem is to be part of it. Everybody should play their roles to be a good citizen and stop blaming others.

I leave a comment and got the feedback from their bloggers too. As usual, they think they're right and people against them are wrong...

OPPORTUNITY

Opportunity may knock only once, so grab it.

NOTHING

Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.

MAHATHIR

Some people called him 'Malay Ultra' and also 'Little Suharto along his career as a politician. He was considered as one of Asia's most influent leaders. He also noted in Western as outspoken person.

When I read a book about him titled "The Other Side of Mahathir" I'm touch with his conversation with our first Prime Minister. Tunku asked, will people remember of me, after I'm gone? He only silent.

Nowadays, our federal administative is located in Putrajaya, a planned city. The city is named of the first Prime Minister, Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra. In Malay Language, the Sanskrit-derived words 'Putra' means son while 'Jaya' means excel or success.

Putrajaya was inspired by him and it's one of an attractive place for tourist to visit.

LOVE

"Love is like an eternal flame, once it is lit, it will continue to burn for all time."

KUTA

JERK

Here's a story....

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment.She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came toSay hello to me.I was so embarrassed.How could she do this to me?I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.The next day at school one of my classmates said, 'EEEE, your mom onlyHas one eye!'I wanted to bury myself.I also wanted my mom to just disappear.I confronted her that day and said, ' If you're only goanna make me aLaughing stock, why don't you just die?'My mom did not respond...I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, becauseI was full of anger.I was oblivious to her feelings.I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married.I bought a house of my own.I had kids of my own.I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, myMother came to visit me.She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet herGrandchildren.When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled atHer for coming over uninvited.I screamed at her, 'How dare you come to my house and scare myChildren!'GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!'And to this, my mother quietly answered, 'Oh, I'm so sorry. I may haveGotten the wrong address,'And she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.My neighbors said that she died.I did not shed a single tear.They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.'My dearest son,I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house andScared your children.I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you wereGrowing up.

You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, andLost your eye.As a mother, I couldn't stand watching youHaving to grow up with one eye.So I gave you mine.I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in myPlace, with that eye..With all my love to you,Your mother.

IGNORANCE

Ignorance is a lack of knowledge, or a willful lack of desire to improve the efficiency, merit, effectiveness or usefulness of one's actions. Ignorance is also a "state of being ignorant" or unaware (not knowing).

Ignorance occurs when those who can benefit from knowledge are unwilling or unable to find or assimilate the knowledge. The flip side of ignorance is having knowledge and not having any way of sharing that knowledge. It is the condition of believing I am my mind.

Ignorance is removed by Understanding. Ignorance is darkness and knowledge is Light. That which destroys ignorance liberates the truth.

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

HOROSCOPE

Today my horoscope says that:

"You have an instinct about when to show interest in the problems of others and when to back off discreetly. However, judging by the situations you're currently facing, even you could get it wrong. Worse, certain individuals could insist you give them advice. Refuse to say a word. You'll be relieved you didn't."

Is it true?

GOD

Lately, my friend was in dilemma. She is planning to married with her boyfriend soon. The problem is, they're different religion.

One day, she asked me, "What happened if the pious person who believed their god, follow as per command and doing the good thing, but at the end of the day what their believed is wrong?"

For me, it's important for us to find which religion is truly real and right. Everyone was born in different religion. Doesn't matter if you're born as Islam, Kristian, Buddhist, Hindu etc but you still can choose your right path as long as you discover which is the best.

Some people judge a religion by loooking at their followers behaviour. It's not fair if you see in that way. We should value it by all aspect, physical and spiritual.

FRESH

ENTREPRENEUR

Many people dream of running their own businesses but not many know how to get there. Aside from having the capital and know-how, you also need the right attitude and drive to succeed. Ambition is just the start of it. Owning own business isn't easy but if you stick to your plans and work hard at it, the dreams is yours. There's some qualities that most successful entrepreneurs share;

• belief in yourself,
• drive to succeed,
• be creative and innovative,
• evolve,
• be competitive & motivated,
• accepting criticisms

Do you've what it takes?

DEATH

Last night I went to my friends house. Her father just passed away. Today is her father's birthday. According to her colleague, she already buy a present to celebrate her father's birthday.

Hopefully, she and her family will be strong. God bless him.

CHARITY

"Charity to the needy is best, begin this with your near relatives"

BILLIONAIRE

I'm really impress with one of the richest corporate figure of my country. In 10 years he has contributed almost RM1billion to charity. He was born in a mid-low class family, highest education only form five and he never went to university. Whole of his knowledge and experience was gained through his entrepreneurship experience during his youth time.

While pursuing his secondary school, he helped his mother planting and selling vegetables in the market. After finishing school, he helped his father in breeding cow business. He become successful when he start dealing in rice business. When he received his first income of RM1,500 he donated half of it to the poor people.

Last year he was awarded RM80, 000 and trophy by our King in appreciation of his enormous services and contributions. When a reporter ask him what to do with the money, he told the press that he will give the money to his mum, person who always teach him to help other people.

ARTICLE

I read an article in newspaper yesterday about the single life arising nowadays. The author is a single guy, who has a problem being alone because in their male dominated society, there is a tendency to look down on a man who does his own shopping such as men are not supposed to go to the market to buy vegetables, chicken, fish or even know the price a kilo of onions.

He also facing a problem when he go to supermarket to get food products. Most of the products are all in family size, so he end up his shopping with buy fresh milk and fruit juice. After a few days, he forget about his milk and juice. When he open refrigerator, the milk has fermented and get stinks. So he think, if these products were packaged for singles there would be no wastage.

It's remind me to one of story that I seem in tv, about the father and his son buy a watermelon at the market. The price is same either small size or big size. Then the father choose the medium size. His son asked him why he didn't choose the bigger one. He said, "If we pick the big size, we can't finish it and wastage. Don't be greedy."

ZOOM

YOUNG

We have a lot of memories that we still remember during our childhood. I like to share an experience that my friend has been thru as a kid. Her parent not living together. As a teenager, everybody need love from their parents. So do her. She asked me, "Do you know why I never use my blanket when I'm sleeping?" I said, "No". Then she replied, " When I was a kid, I dream that my parent will put the blanket on me." But she didn't get it because her parent seperated.

Nowadays, I realise that she is seeking for it. Searching for the love that she didn't get before. Want to feel the sense of belonging. It's remind me to the words, if you want someone to love you, you need to learn to give your love to them first. Don't wait to say that...otherwise you may regret it.

X-FILES

Last night something happened to my housemate. When she walk out from the lift at our house a guy try to snatch her. He pull her head. She shouted and calling for help. I was watching tv at that time. I opened the door and see her lie down on the floor and cried. The guy run tru the stairs.

Our neighbour also heard, he and his wife asked her what's going on. She said that she can't she his face because he covered by helmet. I think he was outsider. It is dangerous to walk alone. That's why we need to bring something either pepper spray or umbrella to protect us from harmful people. Better careful when someone follow you with helmet.

WORLD

Now I've been happy lately
Thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be
Something good has begun

Oh I've been smiling lately
Dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be
Someday it's going to come

Cause out on the edge of darkness
There rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country
Come take me home again

Now I've been crying lately
Thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating
Why can't we live in bliss

VETO

We should abolish the veto power in the United Nations Security Council. As we know the veto power can prevent any draft resolution to be accepted when one of their members such as Britian, China, France, Russia or US has voted not to accept the draft even majority already agreed with it. I believe that many people agreed. It is irrelevant because with this power, democracy can't be achieved especially when their permanent member abused that power. Perhaps, all of us in this world can live in peace and harmony as per stated in the United Nations Charter.

UN

Today, United Nations will be having a special emergency session in New York to discuss the Israeli invasion in Gaza. Hopefully, they can stop it immediately.

It is not true of Israel or people say that the war is against the terrorist, racism or religion. It is about the TERRITORY.

As we know many thousands of people died and injured at Palestin. Whole world are condemn the Zionist for their action against Palestinian.

History proved that the migration of Jews to Palestine after World War 1 and reached gigantic proportions after World War 2. They are homeless and being discriminate by the European when the Holocaust was used by the Nazi. So, they choose Palestine as their homeland.

Now the Jews not only invaded Palestine, they also denied the Palestinian rights as a landlord and they established their Israel state illegally. The Palestinian inhabited and built Palestine more than 1,000 years before the Jew established their state.

That's why Palestinians have their rights to defend themselves and their homeland from Israel or from the others. No one can argue it...

TRAVEL

Still feel that I'm in holiday mood even a month pass by already. Plus with too many day off because Christmas and New Year Celebration and next coming holiday, Chinese New Year make me feel want to have another vacation.

I love to travel. See the people, get to know the other culture and believes, their lifestyle and what they do for living instead of sightseeing. At least, we know how lucky we're. Some people struggling to survive.

It's remind me to one of my member group, when I attend Q & A session for the focus group. He said that during his visited to one of country, he found out that their people really nice...but there's a reason...of course everything happened because a reason. We live in a real world not a fantasy...

SAVIOUR

Yesterday, on my way back from the office, I watched the scene where one man approach one lady in the train. After introduced his name and where he comes from (foreigner), he asked that lady what is her religion. She replied no. Then he give her a business card and tell her that if she interested may be she can go to that address and hear the prayer of that religion. Before he leave, he ask her email address and give her a book that brief about his religion. I just staring at him and I noticed that when he walk out the train he is not alone, his friend also in the same train but they not sitting together. I guess they are promoted their religion to the others.

For me, it is good approachment. They do it nicely in proper manner. They tried to get their followers as many as they can. May be we should learn from them...but do we have guts to do it?Do I?

REFRESHING

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